


Ignition

by theundeadsiren (rhoen)



Category: In the Flesh (TV)
Genre: Alive AU, Car Accidents, Firefighter Rick, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-27
Updated: 2015-05-21
Packaged: 2018-03-26 00:53:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3831088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhoen/pseuds/theundeadsiren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's just another shift as a firefighter for Rick, but there's something different about the casualty he helps at one of the incidents he attends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why, oh why has it taken me so damn long to post anything to do with Rick being a firefighter? Shame on me. But what can I say - I wrote the word 'ignite' in the description for 'Fire' and this suddenly came to me.
> 
> I hurt Kieren a bit in this. I'm sorry.
> 
> Uh, yeah, apparently there's another fic with Rick as a firefighter. You guys are aware of The Smoke, right? Aired spring last year? I didn't even know anyone else had written firefighter Rick, so if you think I nicked the idea, you can jog on. Been talking about firefighter Rick with friends since I watched that, and Allotment, which I wrote in March, has Rick as a firefighter. Although I didn't post that on AO3, just on LJ.
> 
> I know very little about the Fire Service, but I try to be accurate where I can. What I can tell you is that there is a specific bit of road in Hackney I picked as the scene for this, because I'm unhealthily hung up on details like that.
> 
> Also: the characters I made up and shoved in are just minor backdrop puppets. Focus on the shiny RickRen (or the potential RickRen - I don't know if my interest will last long enough to write the next chapter, which is kinda there in my mind, but not on paper, so...)

**You may not take this fic and edit or reupload it - in whole or in part - without my express permission. This includes translations.**

If you are reading this anywhere other than my (theundeadsiren) tumblr, AO3 or livejournal, then please [let me know](http://theundeadsiren.tumblr.com/ask/), including a link to where you found it, so I can take steps to have it removed. For a list of people given permission to use parts of my works, please see [here](http://theundeadsiren.tumblr.com/permission).

Thank you for respecting my wishes

* * *

 

“Foxtrot two-four, this is Alpha one-niner. We are now in attendance at an RTC on City Road. Request immediate backup. Over.”

Rick listened to Davies as he worked the radio, static cracking for a fraction of a second before the control centre replied. He didn’t hear the rest, already moving towards one of the three vehicles that had been involved in the accident. They were the first to arrive, other than bystanders, and he’d seen enough road traffic collisions by now to be fairly good at reading the scene, and it seemed pretty obvious what had happened here. Whoever was driving the red hatchback hadn’t stopped at the junction, and had gone straight into the side of the silver sedan Rick was now walking towards, carefully assessing for immediate risks. The third vehicle was a bus, which had clipped the sedan and swerved, and was now fully blocking the road. It was mostly untouched, and didn’t concern him. Rick’s attention was firmly fixed on the sedan.

It seemed safe enough, with no immediately visible spills, but the engine was still running. Glass crunched underfoot as Rick moved closer, focused on the sole occupant of the vehicle. His head was slumped against the window, and Rick could see a trickle of blood on the glass. It wasn’t enough to cause concern, and the major impact had come from the passenger side, but the fact the guy seemed to be unconscious wasn’t good. Moving back round to the crumpled passenger side, Rick tried the door, which, by some miracle, opened a fraction. It was enough. As it came free, Rick started speaking to the guy.

“You okay there? My name’s Rick, I’m a firefighter. I’m here to help. Are you able to hear me?”

He wasn’t surprised when he didn’t get a response, but instinctively kept talking as he moved, glancing at the back seat to make sure he wasn’t dealing with some nutjob transporting high explosives. He knelt on the passenger seat, amongst some rubbish from a fast-food joint and a few empty water bottles, looking over the shallowly breathing young man again.

“I need to turn your engine off and see how you’re doing. I’m just going to lean across and turn your car off now, okay?”

There was still some awareness there, because as Rick found and turned the keys, the guy let out a moan of discomfort which Rick was always glad to hear – better a complaining casualty than a silent one. While there was no obvious major trauma, it would be easier to assess if the guy could speak. Rick was worried about his breathing. He automatically suspected neck injuries in incidents like this, but was sensing there were internal chest injuries too. He could hear the familiar sirens as another engine pulled up, but it was the ambulance he needed urgently for this guy.

“Can you hear me?” he asked again as the guy tried to move. He was regaining consciousness – he can’t have been out for more than two minutes – and as he did he tried to draw in a breath, only to freeze in pain, his eyes clenching shut.

“It’s okay, the paramedics are nearly here,” Rick promised. “I’m Rick, I’m a firefighter. Can you tell me your name?”

The guy’s lips moved once, nothing coming out. The second time, Rick caught the name over the noise picking up in the background. While he could read the cacophony, most people were overwhelmed and frightened by it.

“Kieren Walker,” the guy said faintly.

“Okay, Kieren, good man,” Rick acknowledged comfortingly. “Now I need you try not to move for me, okay? I know it’s difficult, but I’m right here, there’s no need to worry.”

Even as he spoke, he could see the guy starting to panic. Inhaling was clearly painful, and tears started streamed down his face. It seemed like the guy was sobbing, until he managed to cough, bringing up a spattering of blood. Rick didn’t react to the severity of that, instead taking the guy’s hand in his own when the young man started reaching out in a blind panic as he registered the taste in his mouth, his breathing becoming even more laboured as his state of anxiety worsened.

“I’m right here,” he repeated as he let frightened fingers clamp down on his hand painfully. “You’ll be okay. Try not to move, Kieren. Can you tell me where it hurts the most?”

“Chest,” came the tiny whimper. Rick could have guessed that. Behind him he heard someone approach, and he turned to see Leena walking towards him. Thankfully, he could now hear the ambulance approaching.

“Suspected pneumothorax,” he stated simply. His tone gave nothing away, and likewise there was no panic in Leena’s expression as she just nodded and turned to relay the urgency of Rick’s casualty. Rick was already turning back to Kieren.

“The paramedics will be here in a moment,” he said, aware of how tightly the guy was gripping down on his hand. He could feel the clamminess of his skin. “You’ll be in good hands, Kieren. Just focus on me, don’t worry about anything else.”

The guy coughed again, pain and distress etched clearly across his face. Blood and spit trickled down from the guy’s mouth, tears still streaming down his cheeks. Rick never found it easy watching people in so much discomfort. His job was to keep casualties safe, though, and he knew he did that well.

“That’s it,” he said soothingly, acknowledging the tremendous pain the small movement of coughing must have cause the guy. “You’re doing great. Just focus on me.”

Glancing over his shoulder, Rick nearly sighed with relief at the welcome sight of the green uniforms approaching. Leena has obviously told him what to expect. Rick turned back to the young guy, already preparing to move out the way.

“Okay, the paramedics are here now Kieren, they’re going to take care of you. I need to move out the way so they can gain access, okay?”

Panic clearly spiked at that, and Rick’s hand was gripped even tighter. It was difficult not to react to the painfully tight hold.

“Don’t!” the guy begged. Rick steeled himself, knowing he had to move. The guy was still leaning towards his door, and opening it could move him and cause further damage. The passenger side was the safest option.

“It’s okay, Kieren, I’ll stay right here, I won’t go anywhere. But I need to let them in to help you.”

The guy sobbed as Rick pulled away.

“I won’t go anywhere, I promise.”

As their hands broke apart, he moved quickly out of the vehicle, turning to the blonde paramedic he knew from incidents they’d both attended before.

“Kieren. Unconscious on arrival, two mins max. Responsive since. Severe chest pain, head injury.”

He didn’t waste time with more than he absolutely had to, and watched as Meg slid into the passenger seat and started treating Kieren. Rick allowed himself a sigh, stepping back to let Meg’s partner move closer, looking at the scene as he did. The police were busy dealing with the congested traffic and bystanders, while the fire crew were split between the red hatchback a few meters away and the Routemaster, with a paramedic at each. Several more blues and twos were arriving, and the machinery was being fetched from one of the engines to cut whoever was in the hatchback free.

He had barely a second to take it all in, before he was being called.

“Rick, can you give us a hand?” Meg asked, turning to address him. “Hop in behind Kieren, help us keep him calm.”

Moving round the car, Rick automatically re-checked for hazards, before opening the only undamaged door left on the car and sliding into the back seat. Kieren was sitting up a fraction, now no longer leaning on his door, but he was clearly panicking. Unable to reach much else of him, Rick spoke before letting his hand rest on Kieren’s shoulder so as not to alarm him with the touch.

“Hey, Kieren, I’m still here.”

“No, Kieren, keep your hand down for me,” Meg said firmly. Kieren made a pitiful noise of distress, clearly trying to reach for Rick.

“Just hold still,” Rick urged. “It’ll be over soon. I’m right here.”

Kieren didn’t relax, but at least obeyed Meg’s instruction to keep his hands where they were. Meg was turning to her partner and requesting a cannula from the kit they’d carried over. Rick felt another feeble cough rake through Kieren’s body, and heard the pitiful whine at the resulting pain and blood filling Kieren’s mouth. His breathing had gotten shallower.

Rick kept quiet, letting Meg do her job. She talked Kieren through the steps, and every time Rick sensed Kieren’s panic spiking, he squeezed gently on his shoulder. He had no idea what might be broken in the guy’s body, so was afraid to be too rough, but his touch seemed to help calm Kieren, so he didn’t pull away.

A few minutes later, once he’d been given something for the pain and his injuries had been better assessed, Kieren could be moved from the car. Rick climbed from the back seat so he could help the hands that carefully manoeuvred Kieren into place on the stretcher that had been brought over. Despite being immobilised, Kieren still tried to reach out.

“Rick?” he tried with difficulty. Rick was a little surprised he’d remembered his name, and found his hand once again grasped at desperately.

“Still here,” he said gently. He followed the stretcher, one hand on it and the other in Kieren’s grip, which seemed to have lost a lot of strength. The drugs were no doubt kicking in and the adrenaline wearing off – there was only so long someone’s body could remain in that state before it started to crash.

“Don’t go.”

Even as Kieren spoke, his eyes were starting to flutter closed. Rick felt sorry for him. There was no way he could stick with the guy – he had a job to do here, and another five hours or so before his shift ended.

“I really have to. You’ll be taken good care of though, don’t worry.”

Kieren let out another unhappy noise, his grip tightening as much as it could on Rick. Rick squeezed back, before pulling gently away. He let his hand rest on top of Kieren’s for a moment.

“You’ll be fine. Get well soon, yeah?”

If it wasn’t for the shuddering of his chest, the way Kieren’s eyes fell closed would have made Rick think the guy had lost consciousness. He moved back as the stretcher was loaded into the ambulance, and Meg climbed up beside it. She gave Rick a wry smile.

“Til next time.”

He snorted. “In many, many years, hopefully. Take care of him, Meg.”

“Don’t I always?”

With that, he helped close the doors. It would be amazing if there were no more incidents that brought the two services out together, but unfortunately Rick suspected he wouldn’t see out the rest of the day without another incident requiring the ambulance service too. Right now, though, he focused his attention on where he was and turned back to the scene, picking his crew manager out from the mass of uniforms. Spotting Davies, Rick jogged over. The incident was easily under control, so Rick wasn’t surprised to find himself one of the first to start the clean-up.

What he was surprised by, though, was the way he kept thinking about Kieren. This wasn’t his first RTC. He wasn’t a rookie. It was human to be concerned and wonder how someone was doing, but something about the way Rick thought of Kieren felt like something more than that. Even when his shift ended and Rick stood beneath the powerful shower spray at the station washing away the traces of the day, he could still feel the phantom of Kieren’s grasp around his hand, and it wasn’t unpleasant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so gay, la la la, why do I even write this trash???????


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hm. I put my blog oh hiatus and no one noticed (or cared), so I'm really not expecting anyone to even realise I've uploaded this second chapter. If you do... who am I kidding, no one will notice or care :D It's shit anyway.

Rick didn’t make it home. After stepping out the shower, he sat on the bench in the locker room, still dropping wet, and looked down at his hands, thumbing over where the City Road RTC casualty he’d helped a few hours ago had held on to him so tightly. Kieren. Rick couldn’t work out why this one particular guy had gotten to him like this. Kieren had been terrified – which was natural and Rick didn’t think he’d ever dealt with a conscious casualty who wasn’t at least a little scared – but something about the way Kieren had latched onto Rick, and Rick alone, was sticking with him. Meg had needed his help to keep the guy calm, and Kieren kept reaching for him. Rick remembered the way Kieren had spoken his name, despite the pain he must have been in, and the pitifully desperate request for Rick not to leave him. Rick shook his head slightly, trying to shake the memory as he reached for his things. It hadn’t been a particularly bad incident and he wasn’t sure what to read into the way it stayed at the forefront of his mind. He hadn’t let himself be distracted by it – until now – but the memory of Kieren’s hand fiercely gripping his stuck with him, and he’d caught himself more than once holding his own hand as he tried to recapture the warmth and pressure he thought he might even miss. He realised that he felt bad for letting go – something he’d had to do and hadn’t thought anything of at the time. He was thinking about it now. He wondered how Kieren was doing.  
  
Rick didn’t reach for his clothes. Instead, he dug out the phone and dialled the number for the Royal London Hospital’s switchboard.  
  
-  
  
The 205 dropped him on Whitechaple Road, right by the distinctive buildings. Rick glanced up at them briefly, before looking for signs to the hospital’s main entrance and trying not to think too closely about what he was doing. At the station they would often hear about what happened to casualties they’d attended, but Rick had never visited anyone in hospital before – not like this. He wasn’t sure he should be doing it, although he couldn’t quite say why as he knew others did the same thing now and then. When he’d gotten through to the ward on the phone, the nurse had told him it was okay to come but not to expect much as Kieren was recovering from surgery and heavily medicated. He hadn’t asked much more, hoping not to be questioned himself. Rick wished there was some legitimate reason for him doing this, but all he had was ‘I just wanted to see how he was doing’. As he made his way up to the ward, he reminded himself that there wasn’t any harm in wanting to know if someone was okay; it was only human. What he hoped this wouldn’t be seen as was prying. Rick honestly had no idea if Kieren would mind, or how he’d react, least of all because people’s memories could do strange things after major trauma like that – Kieren might not even remember the accident, or him. Rick hoped he would.  
  
As he reached the ward and walked up to the nursing station, a nurse looked up from her paperwork and gave him a polite smile, tilting her head in question.  
  
“Can I help you?” she asked kindly.  
  
“I’m here to see Kieren Walker?”  
  
“This way,” she said, skirting round the edge of the desk and leading Rick along the corridor, turning to talk to him as she did. “He’s had surgery, and has been given some pretty strong painkillers, so will be little out of sorts.”  
  
It was the same warning he’d been given on the phone, and Rick wondered what kind of a person Kieren was normally and what would be ‘out of sorts’ for him.  
  
“Has anyone been to see him?” Rick asked.  
  
“No, just the officer who brought some of his things. His family have been informed, but won’t be able to get here for few hours yet.”  
  
Her words confirmed what he remembered thinking from the car – the guy had travelled from outside of London. Rick felt sorry that his trip had ended up so disastrously.  
  
The nurse paused by the door to a single room and gave another small smile. “Come find me if you need anything,” she said, already half-turned to go.  
  
“Thanks,” Rick said, stepping past her and into the room. He immediately focused on the young man seemingly asleep in the bed, and he hesitated. He’d never done this before. He had no clue what to do next. His job had procedures, guidelines and rules for every eventuality, but he’d never come across one for this – he certainly didn’t know what to do with the sudden realisation that the young man he was looking at was incredibly beautiful. Kieren’s reddish-blond hair was splayed around him, tousled from where he’d shifted against the pillow, and his lips were gently parted as he breathed almost normally, despite having removed the oxygen mask which was now on the pillow next to him. Dark lashes contrasted against pale cheeks, and in the fraction of a second it took for Rick to notice Kieren’s appearance and the attractive lines and angles of his features, Rick wondered how he’d missed it before. Why had he not noticed before?  
  
Rick wasn’t used to being so out of his depth. Kieren stirred, reacting to his presence, and Rick hung back, suddenly wondering if the guy would even recognise him even if he remembered the incident – Rick had changed after his shower, and had been wearing his gear when they’d met anyway. Should he say something? But then Kieren’s eyes fluttered open and he saw Rick. The look of surprise and amazement told Rick he remembered, but before Rick could react, pain flashed across Kieren’s face and he started trying to cough. To Rick’s immense relief, there was no blood.  
  
“You probably don’t feel it, but you look a lot better than the last time I saw you,” he said with a small smile Kieren didn’t see as he tried to regain control of his pained coughing. It took a moment, and Rick moved a step closer, drawing level with Kieren’s knee and making sure he didn’t crowd him too suddenly. He let his tone soften as he spoke again. “Hey, Kieren.”  
  
Kieren made a choked noise, hand reaching reflexively out to Rick’s. When Rick let him take it, Kieren grasped at him much as he had done before, only this time the terrified desperation wasn’t there and the grip wasn’t nearly as painful. Rick wouldn’t have minded if it was.  
  
“I’m on drugs,” Kieren said, sounding dazed.  
  
“Yeah, you are,” Rick agreed kindly. “Pretty good ones too, it seems.”  
  
Another small noise. “Are you really here?”  
  
Rick smiled gently, warmed by the hint of a Lancastrian accent he could detect, and the almost innocent way Kieren was looking at him. He had the most beautiful brown eyes. “I really am. Would you like me to stay for a bit?”  
  
Kieren just nodded.  
  
“Let me go drag a chair over then,” he suggested, gently pulling his hand back. Kieren let him go, allowing Rick to fetch one of the plastic seats from the far corner and bring it back to the same side of the bed. He sat down close enough to take Kieren’s hand again. Kieren seemed to like that. Rick tried not to think about how much he liked it too.  
  
“You’re really here,” the guy said, still sounding amazed by the fact. His fingers squeezed gently at Rick’s, and Rick returned the gesture.  
  
“I wondered how you were doing.”  
  
“Fuzzy,” came the reply. Rick smiled at that, and was surprised when Kieren let go of his hand and reached up to his face. He let him, realising as slender fingers brushed a little clumsily over his cheek what Kieren was doing.  
  
“You have dimples,” Kieren said simply. Rick indulged him for another moment, before lifting his hand to gently pull Kieren’s away. He shouldn’t let people touch him like that, even if felt nice. He didn’t say anything against the action though; Kieren was probably on a cocktail of painkiller and antibiotics, so the lines between what he should and shouldn’t do were no doubt blurred. Rick wondered a little despondently if Kieren really knew he was here, or if, in a few hours, this would even be remembered.  
  
“Are your family coming to be with you?” Rick asked, rearranging their hands on the cover of the bed. He already knew from the nurse that someone was coming, and wondered if Kieren remembered that.  
  
“My mum,” Kieren replied. “Are the other people alright?”  
  
Rick tried not to react to the question with more than a small shrug. “I haven’t really heard,” he said, careful with the words he chose. They hadn’t heard anything since the incident, which was probably a good thing, but Chris and Irish had told him the state their casualty had been in, and Rick had seen the blood on the tarmac. Kieren didn’t need to know that, if he lived, the guy would probably never walk again.  
  
“I hit a bus,” Kieren frowned.  
  
“Don’t worry, you can’t really hit buses – buses hit you.”  
  
“Were the people okay?”  
  
“Yes. A few bumps and scrapes. They were okay, don’t worry.”  
  
“But the other car…?”  
  
“I don’t know,” he said gently. “We didn’t hear anything afterwards, which is usually a good thing.”  
  
“You wouldn’t lie to me?”  
  
“No, I wouldn’t.”  
  
Kieren seemed to accept that. “Okay,” he mumbled, relaxing a little. His fingers twitched against Rick’s as he exhaled, the movement obviously hurting. “Do you do this lots?”  
  
“Do what?” Rick asked, not entirely sure which part of their conversation Kieren might be referring to.  
  
“Come see people?”  
  
“Uh, no, I don’t actually,” Rick said, finding himself feeling a little exposed with the admission. He missed being on duty – playing the role of firefighter was so much easier than… whatever this was.  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Really.”  
  
Kieren grinned, genuinely happy. Rick managed to give a small flicker of a smile, touched by the openness and the fact that him coming here seemed to have made Kieren’s day, but also not sure how to respond to it and feeling off-balance at just how much more beautiful Kieren was when he smiled. Kieren was still looking at him, seeming quite uninhibited, but Rick was nowhere near as confident right now, and found himself looking down and focusing on the hand in his. He’d never really thought of anyone’s hands as beautiful before, it was odd to find himself doing so now. Kieren was obviously happy with the touch, and hadn’t once fidgeted or pulled away. It made Rick wonder what it was about him that Kieren seemed to like. Maybe it was just because he’d been the first person there and to offer comfort.  
  
The door to the room slid open, almost startling Rick and drawing his attention. A nurse came in, giving him a polite smile before addressing Kieren.  
  
“Just need to check on you again,” she said in a broad Cockney accent. Kieren seemed to wilt a little, the smile gone, obviously hating the attention. Maybe he liked Rick because he was a firefighter, not a doctor or paramedic.  
  
“Do I need to move?” Rick asked. The nurse shook her head.  
  
“You’re alright where you are,” she assured him, moving to the opposite side of the bed. Rick focused on Kieren, who had eyes had closed unhappily and tightened his hand on Rick’s. “You a friend?” she asked Rick, not unkindly.  
  
“Uh, firefighter,” Rick said, uncertain of his response.  
  
“Oh, were you one of the ones there today?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“I heard it was a bit of a mess.” Her attention shifted to her patient. “Kieren, I need you to look at me for a moment, darlin’.”  
  
“It was,” Rick agreed, watching as the nurse performed what he recognised as a test for concussion. Kieren was still holding onto him tightly. Rick looked for the wound on Kieren’s head that had been bleeding, but saw nothing.  
  
A minute later when she was done, the nurse moved to the bottom of the bed, scratching notes onto the clipboard there and then replacing it. They both looked up when Kieren spoke.  
  
“I forgot the name of the thing,” he admitted. Rick was confused, but the nurse seemed to understand.  
  
“Pulmonary laceration?”  
  
“Yeah,” Kieren agreed, turning to Rick. “I’ve got that. They had to operate to get the broken rib out of my lung and stop it bleeding.”  
  
Rick winced sympathetically. “Ouch, that has to really hurt.”  
  
“It does.”  
  
“I’ll leave you to it,” the nurse excused, giving them a small smile as she left, which Rick politely returned.  
  
“They left a tube in for the collapsed lung thing too,” Kieren continued. “It sucks.”  
  
“I think they come out after a day or two,” Rick said, trying recall what he knew about the topic, which wasn’t very much. Kieren seemed quite happy telling him about the details, almost as if he hadn’t quite processed them.  
  
“Have you ever had one?”  
  
“Thankfully not, no.”  
  
“Have you ever been in an accident?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“Never?”  
  
“Never. Unless crashing into another football player and breaking my arm when I was fourteen counts.”  
  
“Did it hurt?”  
  
Rick smiled slightly. “A lot,” he admitted.  
  
“I’ve never broken anything before,” Kieren said.  
  
“I’m sorry it’s your ribs. Can’t really put those in a cast.”  
  
“Hurts every time I breathe,” Kieren said sadly. Rick tightened his hold on Kieren’s hand a fraction, wishing there was some way to help with the pain.  
  
“Does the oxygen help?”  
  
“Yeah, but I don’t like the mask.”  
  
“Uncomfortable?”  
  
“No. Makes me feel like a spaceman.”  
  
Rick couldn’t help laughing, finding Kieren’s reason both endearing and amusing at the same time. He quickly tampered down his reaction, though, swallowing any further laughter. “I’m sorry,” he said sincerely. “I didn’t mean to…”  
  
“I like it when you laugh,” Kieren said easily. His other hand reached up and slowly sought out the oxygen mask, holding it over his nose and mouth when he found it to prove his previous point. “See? Spaceman.”  
  
Rick smiled, chuckling slightly and understanding Kieren’s invitation to laugh. “You don’t look like one at all,” he reassured him.  
  
“Feel like one,” Kieren muttered, moving the mask away.  
  
“If it helps you should leave it on,” Rick encouraged gently. Kieren huffed, frowning. His reactions were so honest Rick knew there was no way the guy was like this normally – no adult was allowed to respond so openly to things without being called childish – but he liked the sincerity. At least it would be easy to tell when Kieren became bored of his presence.  
  
“Shall I help you put it on?” he offered.  
  
“I’ll look stupid.”  
  
Rick shrugged, gambling with his next question. “If I were in your position, would you think that I would look stupid?”  
  
Rick honestly didn’t know what Kieren might say, but was relieved when the answer was the one he’d hoped for.  
  
“No.”  
  
“I promise you, I don’t think you look stupid.”  
  
After a moment, Kieren gave in. “Okay,” he agreed. Rick gave him a reassuring smile, gently slipping his hand free of Kieren’s and standing so he could lean over and sort the mask out. It had straps to hold it around the patient’s head, so he loosened them a fraction so it would be easier to get on. Thankfully, Kieren was cooperative and lifted his head a fraction, but it obviously caused him a great deal of pain and he gasped, crying out as his head fell back to the pillow. Rick felt bad for him, his hand catching Kieren’s head gently.  
  
“I’m sorry,” he said, “Here, let me help.”  
  
It was much harder to do with one hand supporting Kieren’s head, but it stopped Kieren trying to move in a way that hurt his chest. Anywhere else, Rick wouldn’t have dreamed of doing this, but the possibility of a neck or spinal injury had clearly been ruled out by medical staff. After a few moments, the mask was on, and Rick carefully adjusted the straps, focusing on what his fingers were doing as he made sure it wasn’t too tight.  
  
“There,” he said, giving a small smile as his focus shifted to Kieren, who was looking up at him with wide eyes that showed such vulnerably. Something caught in Rick’s chest, and he felt his heart thudding heavily as he gazed down at Kieren, caught completely off-guard. He didn’t even understand why.  
  
“Is my head bleeding?” Kieren asked after a few seconds, his words slightly muffled by the mask and his breath clouding it rhythmically. Rick’s eyes flickered to Kieren’s hairline, attention broken from that strange moment.  
  
“I can’t see anything,” he replied, habitually looking for signs of injury.  
  
“Check?”  
  
Rick didn’t think twice about the request until he did as Kieren asked, fingers gently brushing aside fine strawberry blond hair to reveal a neatly cleaned, stitched and taped cut close to Kieren’s hairline, and he found Kieren leaning into the touch. His eyes widened at Kieren’s boldness. It was completely inappropriate. Rick pulled back.  
  
“It’s fine,” he said needlessly about the cut, not sure where to put himself. As he moved back a step, Kieren reached out for him. Sighing, Rick took Kieren’s hand and gently curled it in his own, placing it back on the bed next to Kieren’s hip. He didn’t mind holding his hand if it comforted the guy, but it was obviously blurring the lines.  
  
“I need to get something to eat,” he said, moving back again. Kieren seemed to be trying to work out what had just happened, and his face crumpled unhappily.  
  
“You’re leaving me?” He sounded slightly panicked.  
  
“I didn’t get a chance to eat before I got here,” Rick explained, avoiding the question in much the same way he would if a casualty asked if they were going to be okay and he knew they wouldn’t be, or quite simply didn’t know. “Do you need anything?”  
  
“I don’t…”  
  
Kieren’s words trailed off, the guy looking like he was still struggling to work out what was going on.  
  
“You’ve got one of those nurse call buttons, yeah?” Rick continued when Kieren didn’t say anything more. “Buzz if you need anything, okay?”  
  
Shit, he sounded like healthcare staff; he even gave one of those stupid polite smiles. Before Rick could think any further about the whole thing and before Kieren could react, he turned and left.  
  
He couldn't block out the pained cry Kieren gave as he no doubt tried to reach after him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was getting annoyed at my lack of productivity, so sat down last night and wrote this. If it is any good remains to be seen, but, um, enjoy? I hope?

Rick paced by the lift, trying to make sense of what had happened. He felt bad. He shouldn’t have reacted like that. Removed from the situation, Rick couldn’t quite explain himself. There wasn’t really anything he could define as being inappropriate – Kieren was just lonely and confused, and Rick being there had helped comfort him; that was what it was, right? What had Rick even reacted to? Perhaps Kieren’s openness wasn’t what he was used to, but it was understandable under the circumstances. Rick was used to seeing people in the kind of situations no one ever wanted to be in, or be seen in, and this was no doubt one of those things for Kieren. Just because he wasn’t working didn’t mean he should forget his professionalism. Rick supposed he’d reacted the way he had because this was new to him – he’d never visited a casualty he’d helped before. It might feel different and a little more personal, but really, it wasn’t. Kieren had just wanted comfort.

Sighing, Rick jabbed at the button to call the lift, shifting his attention to the display showing which floor it was currently on. He hadn’t eaten before coming to the hospital, and supposed if he was going to stick around a little longer he might as well grab a bite to eat. Preferably something hot. Wondering what the cafeteria might have to offer, Rick stepped into the lift as it arrived, barely noticing the other occupants as he checked that the ground floor was selected.  He tried not to think too much about Kieren. Did the guy think he was coming back? When he’d made his excuse, Rick hadn’t even known himself what he was going to do.

Rick had pretty poor timing. The restaurant (which was on the fifth floor anyway) closed at seven, and as it was quarter past, it left Rick having to find a shop instead. The hospital was massive, but he finally found one, and as he pulled a generously stuffed chicken sandwich and a can of Cola from the fridge, he glanced at the bookstand tucked in the corner by the chocolates and sweets. Did Kieren read? Everyone in hospital read, Rick was pretty sure, but he didn’t know what kind of thing Kieren would like. Would he even want a book? It might help pass the time when Kieren had no visitors, but at a glance Rick noticed that the books were pretty generic anyway – titular romance, a few crime thrillers, some 20-year-old celebrity’s autobiography.  Nothing worth bothering with. He dropped the idea, grabbing a Mars bar instead and heading to the till.

But once he’d paid for his food, Rick couldn’t help giving the display another look, turning it with his free hand. The books were all random, and arranged in no particular order, but as Rick scanned the spines, he spotted a title hiding behind a Patricia Cornwell novel that made him pause. After a moment’s hesitation, he selected the book and went back to the cashier to pay for it. If Kieren didn’t want it, Rick certainly would.

-

He probably shouldn’t, but Rick ate as he walked, picking his way back through the hospital buildings and towards the lifts that would take him back up to 12D. By the time he reached the ward, all he had left was a few sips of his Cola. He felt better for having eaten, but still uncertain. He wished he hadn’t left the way he had done earlier, but he just had to hope Kieren would at least forgive his need to get food.

This time Rick didn’t bother introducing himself at the nurse’s station, and went straight to Kieren’s room. He told himself he didn’t do nervous, but as he stepped back into the room, it felt worryingly like he did. He’d not been gone much more than half an hour, but Kieren seemed different; agitated. The covers were disrupted and pushed down almost to his waist, where Kieren gripped the edged in balled fists. He’d taken the oxygen mask off again, and his mouth was drawn in an unhappy line, his eyes shut in a manner that indicated he wasn’t so much sleeping as trying to block out his surroundings. It obviously wasn’t working, as Kieren reacted to the sound of Rick’s footfall by turning his face away.

“Hey,” Rick said gently, still regretting the way he left earlier – he felt awful for it. He was relieved, however, when Kieren’s reaction to his voice wasn’t to try and turn further away, but to look around sharply in surprise, large eyes fixing intently on Rick as if trying to work out if he was actually there.

“You came back,” Kieren said in disbelief.

“Yeah. Had a bit of an adventure to find some food,” Rick said conversationally, trying to hide his unease, before gesturing towards the chair that was exactly where he’d left it. “May I…?”

Kieren just nodded, watching Rick as he crossed over to the seat. He placed the Cola carefully on the floor, turning the book he’d bought over in his hand before looking up at Ren. The wide brown eyes gazing intently at him softened something in Rick, and he instantly forgot what he’d been about to say, the words dying on his lips. The vulnerability and openness in Kieren’s expression touched something within him.

“Are you okay?” Rick found himself asking softly, the professionalism he’d meant to keep no longer there as his voice gave away his genuine concern. He always cared about the people he helped, but something about this felt different.

Again, Kieren nodded.

Rick glanced at the disturbed blanket. “Are you too warm?”

“I’m okay,” Kieren said. Rick noticed the way Kieren’s fist tightened on the blanket, but said nothing. The thin hospital gown covered Kieren well enough, although Rick could see the subtle outline beneath it of the dressing that had been put on after surgery. But, importantly, Kieren wasn’t shivering or sweating feverishly, so Rick believed his response.

“Oh, I got you something,” Rick said, remembering what he’d been about to say. He picked the book up and waved it vaguely. “I don’t know if you like reading or want it or anything, but yeah. I hope it’s not negligent to give this to you.”

“Negligent?” Kieren asked. Rick looked down at the cover.

“Well, I’ve not read this one, but it should make you laugh. Given your injuries, though… I don’t know how much it might hurt.”

Kieren looked down at the book as Rick offered it, letting go of the blanket with one hand so he could take it.

“’The Colour of Magic’?” he read.

“It’s a Discworld novel. They’re really good. I’ve read a few, but not this one,” Rick explained. He watched as Kieren turned the book over to read the back, looking bemused.

“It sounds weird,” Kieren decided after a few more moments of silence. He then handed it back to Rick.

“It is, I guess,” Rick agreed, a little disappointed Kieren didn’t seem interested. But it had been a gamble, and at least he now got to take the book home. He might even be able to read some if the shift tomorrow night was a quiet one.

“Would you read some to me?”

“Uh…” Well Rick hadn’t expected that. He considered the book in his hand, trying to work through his surprise. “I’m not really good at reading out loud.”

“I don’t mind,” Kieren said, regarding Rick evenly. “Just a few pages?”

And then Kieren did something Rick had honestly expected him to do before now – he reached out to try and take Rick’s hand. It was tentative, and nowhere near the bold actions Kieren had made before when reaching for Rick, as if he knew Rick might deny him. Rick didn’t. Taking Kieren’s hand, he squeezed gently.

“Tell you what, you put the oxygen mask on, and then I’ll read. Deal?”

“Deal,” Kieren agreed after a moment of hesitation. He clearly hated the mask, but let go of Rick’s hand to put it on himself. “I hate this thing,” he muttered as he fitted it.

“It will help you get better faster,” Rick explained. Kieren’s lungs were no doubt compromised by the injury, and he would need the extra oxygen. He was pretty sure Kieren pulled a face, but it was mostly obscured by the mask, so Rick just gave him a small smile in response as he rearranged himself to read the book. Kieren reached out again, so Rick leant forwards a little, holding the book open awkwardly in one hand while Kieren took the other. He figured he might as well start at the prologue.

As he read, Rick stumbled over the strange names, frowning at the words he’d never read aloud before. He told himself it didn’t matter. When he reached the line about Astropsychology not being able to work out what the elephants thought about, he looked up with a small smile as Kieren gave a small chuckle. It was a split second later followed by a grunt of pain, and Rick’s face fell.

“You okay?”

Kieren just nodded and said nothing, waiting, so Rick continued, keeping the pace slow enough to hopefully stop him stumbling over more unfamiliar words. It was a few lines later when he paused again, letting Kieren work out how to balance amusement and pain as he reacted to ‘the Big Bang hypothesis’. Kieren tightened his grip on Rick’s hand as the pain worsened, but seemed to still be smiling despite it. A minute later when Rick finished the prologue, he placed the book down, looking at Kieren and trying to decide if he was doing more harm than good in reading to him.

“Don’t stop,” Kieren begged. Rick sighed, giving a small smile as he shook his head.

 “I’m going to get strung up if you open your wound,” Rick pointed out, wondering if this had been such a great idea.

“I won’t laugh, I promise,” Kieren said earnestly. Rick raised an eyebrow.

“But that’s not the point.”

“You know what I mean,” Kieren pleaded. Rick considered for a few seconds, before speaking seriously, his tone firm.

“You really need to tell me if anything hurts, okay?”

“I will,” Kieren said solemnly. Rick took a second before he nodded in satisfaction, picking the book up again, scanning the worlds quickly.

“Right, here we go,” he said more to himself than to Kieren as he stared reading out loud again. Thankfully Kieren’s reactions when he found something amusing were more refined and didn’t seem to pain him, but just as Rick reached the footnote explaining Bravd the Hublander, someone entered the room and Kieren inhaled sharply in surprise.

“Mum!” Kieren exclaimed, hastily letting go of Rick’s hand so he could scrabble at and tug the oxygen mask off. No sooner had he reacted to his mum’s presence, Kieren was gasping in pain as he tried to sit up, falling back to the pillows and gritting his teeth. Rick’s hand reflexively rest on top of Kieren’s as he turned to see the woman who had just entered the room. She looked tired, her skin much paler than it should be, no doubt as a result of the long journey she’d just endured to get here. The family resemblance was subtle, but it was there.

Aware that he should give them space, Rick turned back to Kieren.

“I need to head home now, okay? Remember, the oxygen is there for you to use. It’ll help you get better quicker.”

Rick left the book on the covers, reaching down to fetch his nearly empty can of Cola. He gently squeezed Kieren’s hand as he stood, his thumb stroking over the back of Kieren’s hand.

“Get well soon, yeah?” he said softly, really meaning it.

“Will you come back?”

Rick shook his head, feeling sorry about his answer. “I’m working nights for the next few days. I don’t know if I can.”

Kieren looked down despondently.

“Enjoy the book,” Rick said, trying to be more lighthearted with his tone.

“I will. Thank you.”

“It was my pleasure,” he said with a smile as Kieren looked back up. They stayed like that for a second, regarding each other, before Rick gently pulled his hand back. With one last glance at Kieren, he turned, giving an apologetic smile to Kieren’s mum, who had hung back astonishingly patiently to let her son say goodbye to this total stranger. Maybe a nurse had told her who he was, Rick thought. Or perhaps not. Either way, there wasn’t really anything he could think to say to the woman, so he gave a polite nod as he passed her and went hastily out into the corridor, leaving Kieren and his mum in peace.

He didn’t like to leave, but at least he didn’t feel quite so bad about it this time.


End file.
